Back on the horse, this weekend Blind Monkey reviewed the latest by Patricia Cornwell, “Book of the Dead.” All the players are back, with Dr. Kay Scarpetta working from a new home base in South Carolina, aand including action spanning from New York to Rome and Venice. Benton Wesley, Pete, Lucy and Rose all return for the drama, which is emotional and raw - something that will come as no surprise to those of you that are fans already.

I was prepared, but must admit that this story is brutal - even for Cornwell. Haunted by images of a beautiful and famous tennis phenom who is cruelly tortured and mutilated in Rome, Kay strives to find the killer before he stikes again. And fails. The imagery is so moody, dark and powerful that I was surprised everytime I stepped away to look around and see the bright California sunshine.

There are at least two wonderfully sensitive and joyful moments, two more than you will generally find in a Cornwell novel. But “Book of the Dead” is not for the squeamish or faint-of-heart - in fact, I already warned Mom that under no circumstances is she allowed to read it. But if you’re looking for a mystery with the heart of a savage psychological thriller - pick up the “Book.”

I give this one 4 1/2 bananas, with points taken off only because the reveal comes a little early.

Ever wanted to just go away? Leave your current life and move to another city and begin all over?

You can do it with the help of Doug Richmond’s How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found. I think he used to work for the Queen’s Secret Service (like 006+1 or something). Just Kidding! Seriously, if you’ve ever been hunted by the FBI or chased by stick-wielding rednecks whose sister you recently defiled (not that I would know about this one, mind you), this little attempt at misguided self help might come in handy.

Richmond tells us that a person need only change a few small details about themselves to completely mask their former persona. Weight loss, gait, facial hair (mostly for men Ö women should NEVER sport a goatee, sideburns or a moustache), hair color and clothing styles are the easiest and most effective ways to disguise oneself. Ok, so it isn’t that easy to change your gait (for those of you who are not nearly as mentally agile as I, gait means the way you walk), or so you think Ö imagine inserting a tack in the heel of your shoe and trying to walk normally with the constant little jabbing stick of the pointy end in the bottom of your foot. You WILL walk differently. Trust me. In my quest for excellence I researched this little tack-tic (get the word play?) and found that just the tip of the tack is enough to make people believe you are gimped up and, with the addition of a change of hair, growing a goatee and wearing three piece suits (of which Slappy owns NONE), no one will recognize you.

Well, other than your mother Ö they always know. But then again, this book is not intended for mothers; husbands who need to escape their controlling wives and criminals who need to escape the incredibly long arm of the law will get quite a bit of use from How To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found.

And of course, if you just want to fantasize of how you can gain another life, in another place, with other people, it offers a departure from the dismal and sedulous existence you have come to despise.

Smile, all Ö it isn’t that bad.

Paperback Carol Pub. edition (September 1994) Citadel Pr; ISBN: 0806515597; Dimensions (in inches): 0.33 x 8.23 x 5.39

Reviewed by: The Goose

Let me start off by saying that I wrote another draft of this review and after talking with Blind Monkey about it I tossed it in the proverbial circular file. It was choppy and didn’t create any interest in the book. Bad monkey! So I am starting over. And before he can cry foul, let me say that Blind Monkey suggested that I discuss the ‘original monster board’.

So that said, let’s talk about this creepy book. It’s full of mystery and horror. Both genres which I have little experience with. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I’m pretty much Sci-Fi and Fantasy kind of monkey. Stepping out of those genres is difficult at best for me. On the other hand, this story is absolutely fantastic. I think I read it over the course of two days whenever I had a free moment or two I was reading this thing. If I had had the time I wouldn’t have stopped reading until I was done!

Whew! I hope that’s a resounding endorsement.

The premise here is that three friends, a journalist, a recently appointed Police Commissioner, and an Alienist are trying to solve a series of murders in turn of the century New York. One of those three is a young Teddy Roosevelt.

Now Teddy is on top of things and sets up what amounts to a secret cabal to solve these murders. The leader of which is Dr. Lazlo Kreizler - an Alienist. John Moore is the journalist and is included in the investigation more or less by association, the two having gone to Yale together. Rather ironically, Moore had recently returned from England where he had been reporting on ‘The Ripper’ murders.

The ‘monster board’ is a huge blackboard set up by Kreizler to track the murders using what is known, unknown, and the assumptions the team is making. It becomes a fine example of a ‘living document’ that changes as the team learns new things or must discard old assumptions. This is what the master Monkey meant by ‘The Original Monster Board’. A tool which is used by brain-storming teams everywhere and as a concept has found its way onto the internet.

Tracking a serial killer in the city of goth would be hard enough as it is. People disappear, die, and are murdered with frightening frequency. Usually with no rhyme or reason! But, because Roosevelt is the newly appointed chief of police and has been charged with cleaning up NYPD and the streets, he can hardly afford a misstep. If he is somehow embarrassed on this case, all the bad cops and underworld bosses will be on him like white on rice! And they’re not the only problem — the city’s elite don’t want the investigation continued either. Out of site, out of mind. Who cares if some little boys get killed? They were just scum working the streets for money, right?

This story has more weird turns than an Escher drawing. All of which are against a seething backdrop of political and social turmoil which threatens to swallow it before the case is solved. Throw in some bizarre Native American warpath rituals and our stage is set for a very gruesome but interesting story.

The characters are rich and fully developed-if a little dark. Teddy is the only really bright character. Then again, how else could you paint him? The feeling of macabre is like an itch between your shoulder blades, it’s there, you can’t reach it and it seems to grow worse with every passing minute. This story is like that it just builds, and builds, and builds until finally…

Oh! And what about the title? What is an Alienist? Well let me answer that indirectly with a quotation from the very beginning of the book:

Prior to the twentieth century, persons suffering from mental illness were thought to be “alienated,” not only from the rest of society but from their own true natures. Those experts who studied mental pathologies were therefore known as alienists.

Absolutely fascinating, and definitely worthy of its place on Blind Monkey’s Top Ten List!

Hardcover - 496 pages 1 Ed edition (April 1994) Random House; ISBN: 0679417796 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.54 x 9.53 x 6.65

Reviewed By: The Blind Monkey

My love affair with military fiction began in college. My first peek (yes, there were many to follow) was in my junior year with ‘United States Military Strategy and Weaponry Tactics’. As one of our MANY reading assignments, we were given an amazing fictional paperback on Pickett’s Charge and the battle of Gettysburg… I’ve actually spent the entire morning going through my files trying to find the title to share with you, but I’m just not THAT organized (it’s been a LONG time).

Anyhoo, that was the start of my love/hate affair with military strategy. I progressed along both non-fiction and alternate history lines, starting from the times of the Roman phalanx all the way up to modern tactical warfare. Eventually, I found myself where many do, in the modern world of fiction influenced by and centered around the military. Authors like Tom Clancy or Stephen Hunter, and of course, my favorite, Stephen Coonts.

If you can’t quite place the name, think Flight of the Intruder (No, not the pathetic excuse for a movie starring Rosanna Arquette as Callie, the book).

————–

And that brings us to today’s review. Although it’s good to learn from history, nowadays I enjoy the excitement that modern technology and a dangerous political climate adds to a story.

Stephen Coonts’ latest novel presents us with a thoroughly modern dilemma. The U.S. is prepared to annihilate an enemy with nuclear weapons in a conventional war. Billions are spent on precision weapons, guided missile systems, communications, and on armed forces that are the best equipped, trained, and led on earth. So well in fact, that no sane enemy would confront the United States in a conventional or nuclear battlefield. Which means that guerrilla warfare and terror weapons are the only alternatives.

Historically, nations have used chemical or biological weapons against an enemy only when the enemy lacked the means to retaliate. It was this threat that deterred Saddam Hussein from using chemical and biological weapons against allied troops in the Gulf War… but these days deterrence has fallen out of favor with the ‘politically correct’ American public. As such, the United States signed the Chemical Weapons Convention in 1993, thereby agreeing to remove chemical and biological weapons from its stockpiles.

But what’s to make third-world countries decide not to build biological and chemical weapons? In fact, the real question is.. doesn’t the treaty actually force major world powers to rid themselves of the very weapons that deter others from using them?

That’s right — this book is about Mutually Assured Destruction. And exploring the possibilities if chemical and biological weapons got into the wrong hands. It goes something like this:

A quick 90 miles from Florida, Fidel Castro lies dying. The power struggle for control of Cuba has begun. Meanwhile, the U.S. is engaged in an arms-control race in Paris and has finally decided to take care of the CBW warheads it has squirreled away at Guantanamo Bay.

Enter Rear Admiral Jake Grafton, a.k.a. ‘Cool Hand.’

The carrier United States is stationed off the southeast coast of Cuba, and has been ordered by the White House to ‘monitor’ the cargo ship secretly removing the warheads. But the ship mysteriously disappears under cloud cover and isn’t caught by the NSA’s sat photos. It’s up to Jake recover the warheads, and eliminate the threat from Cuba’s own weapons facilities and the powers that control them.

Veteran naval aviator ‘Cool Hand’ is one of the Blind Monkey’s ALL TIME favorite fictional characters, and a crucial one in this book. But only one. It also introduces a host of others, including an ailing Fidel Castro, Secret Police Chief Alejo Vargas, Jesuit priest and visionary Hector Sedano, and CIA safe-cracker Tommy Carmellini (you can BET we’ll see him again!).

This book has one of the most exciting campaigns I’ve ever followed. I kept wishing I had a map of the area so I could follow along better!! And it also has one of my favorite lines, ever.. “This guy is either Hector’s brother, or a liar of Clintonian dimensions!!” HAHAHAHA!

Oh, and two FABULOUS twists that I can’t believe I didn’t figure out, but there was so much going on I was totally floored!

—————–

Now, the other Monkies keep giving me a hard time because they say my reviews are too positive. You’d think it was a CRIME to find really good books and want to tell others about them! Truth is, I haven’t read a Coonts novel in a few years and figured that, by this tenth book, he was just phoning it in. I even expected to stop everyone’s whining with a wicked rant of a review!

Unfortunately for them (but good for you), there’s not much to rant about in this one. I may be just a hack, but I loved it!! And I think you will to.

Hardcover - 384 pages 1 edition (August 1999) St Martins Pr (Trade); ISBN: 031220521X ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.44 x 9.60 x 6.50

Reviewed by: The Blind Monkey
Saturday, August 7, 1999

Well, it’s happened again. In a space of 24 hours, I have torn through Patricia Cornwell’s latest creation — and now it’s over. *SIGH*

It wouldn’t be so tormenting if she didn’t have such a unique talent for pulling you in. You race through her novels like a dying man gulping his first drink out of the desert, and then the canteen runs dry and you’re immediately thirsty again.

————–

Black Notice is no different. A sadistic mesh of old faces and startling new personalities, the tenth Scarpetta novel introduces a bleak political climate and puzzling string of grisly murders. Chief Medical Examiner Kay Scarpetta, Pete Marino, and neice Lucy are unsuccessfully struggling to cope with Benton Wesley’s untimely death. Scarpetta faces the destruction of her career, Lucy is a ticking time bomb of rage and angst, and Marino is back in uniform. Introduced into this grim setting, Benton visits from the grave through a personal letter written before his death with instructions to be delivered to Kay exactly one year post-mortem.

But enough of that!!! What you want to hear about is death! HAHAHA!!! (ooohh - BM’s evil laugh!)

Well I’m happy to say (is that wrong?) that Black Notice has some of the darkest clues and grim forensic discoveries to date. The first body (there’s always a first) is discovered at the Richmond international port locked in a container where it’s been steadily decomposing for weeks. The sorry state of the body leads to the most graphic detecting yet… you know, the kind of stuff where Quincy always cut to a commercial! A clue written in blood near the body in odd blocky letters, “Le Loup-garou,” leads Dr. Scarpetta and Captain Marino on a whirlwind journey to Interpol where Kay actually breaks the law to subvert a corrupted system.

It’s facinating stuff, and will make you wonder what’s wrong with you that you’re so enthralled by the gore.

There’s no denying that this is Cornwell’s best work. And I admit, I do feel guilty that I reveled in the ugly underbelly (and the fact that I was just dying to use that phase in a sentence) of the police department and the macabre tone… especially when one of the most prominent themes deals with grief and the message that the dead have to tell.

Just another reason this book was riveting. Yes, RIVETING. Big word. Totally true. Just read it yourself and then tell us what you think!

Hardcover - 368 pages (August 02, 1999) Putnam Pub Group; ISBN: 0399145087 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.56 x 9.57 x 6.55

Reviewed by: the Blind Monkey

For those of you biligaanna not lucky enough to grow up in the desert Southwest, I highly recommend letting Tony Hillerman take you there. In his 21st masterful attempt at bringing this magnificient landscape to life, Hillerman sets up the barren beauty of Arizona and the four corners like only a native can. But wait - this isn’t a travel brochure — it’s murder.

Whoa! Was that cheesy, or what!! HAHAHAHA!

But seriously, the story goes like this: When Navajo Tribal Policeman Benny Kinsman is killed while trying to apprehend a suspect on remote Yells Back Butte, Jim Chee is there to apprehend a blood soaked hopi poacher. It’s an open and shut case - until his former boss, now retired Lt. Joe Leaphorn, blows it wide open.

The First Eagle is yet another wonderfully simplistic Hillerman tale. This review is directed mostly at you monkies who have not yet discovered his work - for I must admit, all of his books follow the same formula. Someone gets killed, Chee or Leaphorn tries to find the killer, get crucial information from local skinwalker gossip, follow the wrong trail, drive all over New Mexico and Arizona, and then well, you know.

I was first introduced to Hillerman by my grandfather in New Mexico. A voracious reader himself, he’s the original master Monkey. Facinated by Navajo and Hopi lore, he loves the way Hillerman captures the stillness and frightening mythology of Native Americana in a way that only someone raised in the desert can.

I’ll admit I was skeptical at first. I mean, the Navajo Tribal Police setup doesn’t exactly lend itself to the high-tech methods, jet-setting global intrigue, or mind-bending plot layers that usually get me. Hell, Chee can barely pull his sidearm without being reminded of how he barely passed his last shooting exam. But just the same, Hillerman has a way of keeping you right at the edge of your seat.

I think it’s this ‘back to basics’ approach that makes these books a true intellectual treat. Leaphorn and Chee chase the bad guys the old fashioned way - they follow the clues and anticipate the moves of their opponent.

The First Eagle is the latest in a long list of satisfying Hillerman thrillers. From one Monkey to many, I highly recommend it!

Mass Market Paperback - 319 pages (July 1999) Harper Mass ISBN Market Paperbacks;: 0061097853 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.18 x 6.68 x 4.42

Reviewed by: The Goose
Wednesday, June 30, 1999

Let me start off by saying that I wrote another draft of this review and after talking with Blind Monkey about it I tossed it in the proverbial circular file. It was choppy and didn’t create any interest in the book. Bad monkey! So I am starting over. And before he can cry foul, let me say that Blind Monkey suggested that I discuss the ‘original monster board’.

So that said, let’s talk about this creepy book. It’s full of mystery and horror. Both genres which I have little experience with. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I’m pretty much Sci-Fi and Fantasy kind of monkey. Stepping out of those genres is difficult at best for me. On the other hand, this story is absolutely fantastic. I think I read it over the course of two days whenever I had a free moment or two I was reading this thing. If I had had the time I wouldn’t have stopped reading until I was done!

Whew! I hope that’s a resounding endorsement.

The premise here is that three friends, a journalist, a recently appointed Police Commissioner, and an Alienist are trying to solve a series of murders in turn of the century New York. One of those three is a young Teddy Roosevelt.

Now Teddy is on top of things and sets up what amounts to a secret cabal to solve these murders. The leader of which is Dr. Lazlo Kreizler - an Alienist. John Moore is the journalist and is included in the investigation more or less by association, the two having gone to Yale together. Rather ironically, Moore had recently returned from England where he had been reporting on ‘The Ripper’ murders.

The ‘monster board’ is a huge blackboard set up by Kreizler to track the murders using what is known, unknown, and the assumptions the team is making. It becomes a fine example of a ‘living document’ that changes as the team learns new things or must discard old assumptions. This is what the master Monkey meant by ‘The Original Monster Board’. A tool which is used by brain-storming teams everywhere and as a concept has found its way onto the internet.

Tracking a serial killer in the city of goth would be hard enough as it is. People disappear, die, and are murdered with frightening frequency. Usually with no rhyme or reason! But, because Roosevelt is the newly appointed chief of police and has been charged with cleaning up NYPD and the streets, he can hardly afford a misstep. If he is somehow embarrassed on this case, all the bad cops and underworld bosses will be on him like white on rice! And they’re not the only problem — the city’s elite don’t want the investigation continued either. Out of site, out of mind. Who cares if some little boys get killed? They were just scum working the streets for money, right?

This story has more weird turns than an Escher drawing. All of which are against a seething backdrop of political and social turmoil which threatens to swallow it before the case is solved. Throw in some bizarre Native American warpath rituals and our stage is set for a very gruesome but interesting story.

The characters are rich and fully developed-if a little dark. Teddy is the only really bright character. Then again, how else could you paint him? The feeling of macabre is like an itch between your shoulder blades, it’s there, you can’t reach it and it seems to grow worse with every passing minute. This story is like that it just builds, and builds, and builds until finally…

Oh! And what about the title? What is an Alienist? Well let me answer that indirectly with a quotation from the very beginning of the book:

Prior to the twentieth century, persons suffering from mental illness were thought to be “alienated,” not only from the rest of society but from their own true natures. Those experts who studied mental pathologies were therefore known as alienists.

Absolutely fascinating, and definitely worthy of its place on Blind Monkey’s Top Ten List!

Hardcover - 496 pages 1 Ed edition (April 1994) Random House; ISBN: 0679417796 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.54 x 9.53 x 6.65

Reviewed by: The Blind Monkey

Patricia Cornwell has made a career out of clear language, believeable characters, and intricate descriptions that use location to create a compelling, moving force that transports the reader. Her latest work, Southern Cross, continues this simple-yet-effective strategy, and will engross you from page one.

As a sometimes-hypocritical, but consistently aggressive intellectual snob, I find it hard to admit to my readers how much I enjoy Cornwell’s novels. In fact, the other BMR writers turn up their collective noses whenever I mention her name. But the fact is, I can’t wait to rush to the bookstore or put in that ‘early-release order’ with Amazon each time she comes out with a new one.

I was both delighted and disappointed with her latest police-adventure.

Let’s start with “delighted.” This book introduces a humourous new element to PC’s writing with toungue-in-cheek satire and outlandish sub-characters that are simultaneously stereotypical and unique.

Take Butner “Bubba” Fluck IV, the gun-toting redneck tool freak obsessed with Phillip Morris products and alien conspiracies. Or Weed Gardner, a frighteningly accurate portrayal of a talented youth forced to commit criminal acts by fame-seeking gang members. There’s also Lehlia Ehrlhart, whose command of the english language is so terribly pathetic that every sentence comes out as a joke. And finally, we have the pets: “Popeye” and “Niles” steal the show time and again offering a unique perspective on the misguided actions of their owners.

But the development of the main characters leads us to the “dissapointing” portion of this book.

Cornwell returns to the cast of 1997’s Hornet’s Nest. Set in Richmond, VA, our heros venture north to implement the latest technological advances in criminal mapping on a grant from the NIJ to clean up the beleagered Richmond PD. Chief Judy Hammer, Deputy Virginia West, and Officer Andy Brazil interact in a way that leads the reader to believe that many, many, scenes have been missed since last we saw them. It’s much like reading the FIRST and THIRD book in a trilogy… you keep wondering what happened in-between.

A second, but equally troubling, disappointment is revealed in what seems like a lack of research on the part of the author. Unlike the excruciatingly accurate detail of the Scarpetta novels, Cornwell seems lost in her description of computer viruses and the police procedural. It’s almost as if she took a vacation while writing this book, and decided that the details weren’t as important as before.

But despite these shortcomings, Southern Cross is still a compelling read. It is a true accomplishment when one can make writing seem so completely effortless and encompassing. Although this isn’t one of Cornwell’s best, I still found it a great diversion and recommend it for readers looking for a lighthearted and enjoyable read.

Hardcover - 359 pages (January 11, 1999) Putnam Pub Group; ISBN: 039914465X ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.45 x 9.59 x 6.56

Reviewed by: The Blind Monkey

In light of the recent hooplah regarding the movie “A Simple Plan,” I decided to revisit the book for an indepth look at why this story is so lame (Whoops — kinda let the cat out of the bag there, didn’t I?).

Okay, A Simple Plan was written by Scott Smith. An all-American boy with a boring name and an even sleepier style of writing. Let’s begin with that - the style. For anyone who’s read The Good Brother by Chris Offutt (And I know there’s some of you freaks out there), the Plan will sound familiar from chapter one. In fact, when I began reading this book I had to constantly keep looking at the jacket to assure myself that Offutt hadn’t written it. I found the setting, tone, and descriptive phrasing so similar that I almost couldn’t stand it.

But at least Offutt’s tale developed a unique and semi-interesting plot with idenitifiable and compelling characters. Unfortunately, these are two characteristics of good storytelling that A Simple Plan is never quite able to define.

Let’s continue with the plot. Two brothers and a friend find $4 million in the cockpit of a downed plane in the snow, and you can guess what happens. They must decide to keep it or give it back, and eventually decide to keep it. And that’s where the plan comes in, all they have to do is wait. This “I found a gazillion dollars, what do I do now?” story is so overdone, how can there be any doubt that you know what will happen? Someone will get greedy, someone’s conscience will get the better of them, someone will get suspicious, and things will spiral out of control. Yeah, yeah, quite a story.

Well - it’s not horrible. I didn’t give it the ‘green banana’ or anything. Many of you might find even the quaint rural setting and protagonist’s “good ‘ol boy” mentality semi-charming. But something about these characters and the completely obvious plot turns just rubbed my fur the wrong way. You’d better REALLY be hurting for entertainment before you pass up all the other fabulous stories in the world just to join all the mindless twits that made this tale a New York Times best-seller.

But in case you enjoyed it, I should comment that sometimes it’s okay to be a mindless twit. You were smart enough to visit this site, so I guess I like you anyway.

Mass Market Paperback Reprint edition (August 1994) St Martins Mass Market Paper; ISBN: 0312952716 ; Dimensions (in inches): 0.97 x 6.76 x 4.22

Reviewed by: The Blind Monkey

Many of you already know Jonathan Kellerman as the distinguished child-psychologist and Edgar-Award winning author of the Alex Delaware novels, but with his latest project, Billy Straight, Kellerman tries his hand at a more traditional detective thriller. Featuring new characters Detective Petra Connor and 12-year-old runnaway William Straight, Kellerman puts his psych background to more subtle use.



In Billy Straight, Kellerman puts his knowledge of how children develop in the face of adversity to good use without the aid of a handy child psychologist. After witnessing a brutal murder, our hero is on the run from every money-grubbing would-be investigator out for the $25,000 reward offered by the rich victim’s parents. He’s a runaway whose sharp mind and moral integrity enable him to survive the lurid urban jungle of West Hollywood.

In search of the alleged killers is Detective Petra Connor. A talented and beautiful artist-turned-police detective looking for meaning and direction in life.

This OJ-like case is a real page-turner, following famous suspects and twisted side-kicks into the bowels of the serial killer psyche. But if you’ve recently read Connelly’s Angel’s Flight, I’d take a break from the celebrity murder case and read it in a few months. Connelly does it better, and it will detract from your enjoyment of a good story.

I made this mistake, and although this book greatly surpasses the quality of Kellerman’s last two works (Survival of the Fittest and The Web), I had difficulty mustering the motivation to complete this review. But keep in mind, I have read the entire body of Kellerman’s work — and after Time Bomb and The Butcher’s Theater, he’s had an awful lot to live up to.

Hardcover - 467 pages (Jan 1999) Random House; ISBN: 0679459596 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.38 x 9.49 x 6.57