Reviewed by: The Blind Monkey

Patricia Cornwell has made a career out of clear language, believeable characters, and intricate descriptions that use location to create a compelling, moving force that transports the reader. Her latest work, Southern Cross, continues this simple-yet-effective strategy, and will engross you from page one.

As a sometimes-hypocritical, but consistently aggressive intellectual snob, I find it hard to admit to my readers how much I enjoy Cornwell’s novels. In fact, the other BMR writers turn up their collective noses whenever I mention her name. But the fact is, I can’t wait to rush to the bookstore or put in that ‘early-release order’ with Amazon each time she comes out with a new one.

I was both delighted and disappointed with her latest police-adventure.

Let’s start with “delighted.” This book introduces a humourous new element to PC’s writing with toungue-in-cheek satire and outlandish sub-characters that are simultaneously stereotypical and unique.

Take Butner “Bubba” Fluck IV, the gun-toting redneck tool freak obsessed with Phillip Morris products and alien conspiracies. Or Weed Gardner, a frighteningly accurate portrayal of a talented youth forced to commit criminal acts by fame-seeking gang members. There’s also Lehlia Ehrlhart, whose command of the english language is so terribly pathetic that every sentence comes out as a joke. And finally, we have the pets: “Popeye” and “Niles” steal the show time and again offering a unique perspective on the misguided actions of their owners.

But the development of the main characters leads us to the “dissapointing” portion of this book.

Cornwell returns to the cast of 1997′s Hornet’s Nest. Set in Richmond, VA, our heros venture north to implement the latest technological advances in criminal mapping on a grant from the NIJ to clean up the beleagered Richmond PD. Chief Judy Hammer, Deputy Virginia West, and Officer Andy Brazil interact in a way that leads the reader to believe that many, many, scenes have been missed since last we saw them. It’s much like reading the FIRST and THIRD book in a trilogy… you keep wondering what happened in-between.

A second, but equally troubling, disappointment is revealed in what seems like a lack of research on the part of the author. Unlike the excruciatingly accurate detail of the Scarpetta novels, Cornwell seems lost in her description of computer viruses and the police procedural. It’s almost as if she took a vacation while writing this book, and decided that the details weren’t as important as before.

But despite these shortcomings, Southern Cross is still a compelling read. It is a true accomplishment when one can make writing seem so completely effortless and encompassing. Although this isn’t one of Cornwell’s best, I still found it a great diversion and recommend it for readers looking for a lighthearted and enjoyable read.

Hardcover – 359 pages (January 11, 1999) Putnam Pub Group; ISBN: 039914465X ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.45 x 9.59 x 6.56

Reviewed by: The Goose

Today we are going to take a step off the beaten Fantasy path. I think that it is time that some of my obscure favorites put their faces into the light. So far, as Blind Monkey will attest, I have reviewed Science Fiction Staples. Books and authors recognized for their creative genius.

Let’s have some fun instead.

I first read (actually had it read to me) The Blue Sword while still in Elementary School – Fifth Grade actually. I know story time is a throw back to Kindergarten but my teacher (Mrs. Froehlich) thought it was a good idea and she was probably right.

I have read it more than a score of times since.

In all the years since I have kept that story in fond memory and have a beat up and torn copy of the book.

Clearly the book is written for older children or young adults – I guess I’m just young at heart.

Based heavily on the Brittish Empire in India, McKinley takes us to Damaria, very far from The Homeland. And in Damaria she takes us to the last, furthest most fort of the Homelanders: Istan.

Harry Crewe is the protagonist of the story. Recently arrived in Daria, her brother Richard is nominally in charge of her after her Father’s death.

Oh. Did I not mention Harry is a woman? How forgetful of me. Angaharad Crewe is Richard Crewe’s younger sister. Richard is stationed at Fort Mundy in Istan. Harry goes to live with him after her father’s death. Is that clear enough? I hope so.

Now, Harry has a run in with the last, free King in Daria: Corlath, King of the Hill Folk. His people live in the mountains across the desert from Istan.

Thinking nothing of the encounter she continues on with her normal routine. Then one night she is rudely awakened by her head bouncing against a horses withers.

It is not, though a story from A Thousand and One Arabian Nights. Get your minds out of the gutter! Remember this book is targeted at preteens.

For some reason, this story reminds me a lot of Kipling but made for an older audience. Could just be the India – esque landscape, but it could also be the amazing animal friends that Harry makes a long the way.

The story is A LOT of fun. It has intrigue, romance, fighting, and magic. Lots of magic. There isn’t anything spectacular about this book. BUT, I guarantee that if you like a good fantasy story, and one that will involve you and take you away from whatever doldrums you are dealing with that this book will do it for a while.

The writing is clean and imaginative. The characters while purposefully stereotypical are engaging and believable. Read it and enjoy. After you are finished with that go get The Hero’s Crown. A prequel to Blue Sword.

Hardcover School & Library Binding 1st edition (February 1983) William Morrow & Company; ISBN: 0688009387 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.04 x 9.32 x 6.30

Reviewed by: Slappy

When the Blind Monkey asked me to pick a favorite love story of mine to review for the Valentine’s Day issue of BMR, I bored for days on which book to choose. And, as you have come to know, Slappy has some rather arcane tastes. So, here is my review, my opinion, of Poppy Z. Brite’s Exquisite Corpse.

Set mainly in the French Quarter of New Orleans, Exquisite Corpse is at it’s most, a love story and at it’s least, a love story. I know that may sound repetitive, but the one recurring theme in this book is love. Oh, and evisceration and mutilation. Did I mention the main romantic characters are both serial killers? One from England and the other, old money New Orleans? These two, Andrew Compton and Jay Byrne, haphazardly find each other amongst the waifs and lost children of the New Orleans French Quarter. Both with a penchant for perverse desires, they seem a more than likely match. But watch out! This is not your normal serial killer fall in love story! Andrew and Jay are competitors, also. Both wanting the possession of one young Vietnamese boy, Tran, whom they name the perfect victim.

Andrew and Jay consider murder an art. The most intimate art. And Brite does not hold any qualms about graphically depicting their forays into “artistic expression”. She has successfully blended splatterpunk horror (this monkey’s favorite kind of gore-riddled fiction) with what eventually boils down to an old fashioned, boy meets boy love story. Brite has “dissect(ed) the landscape of torture and invite(s) us into the mind(s) of killer(s)”.

Known for her ability to tell a story, heartbreakingly real characters and perfect, if not too perfect descriptive writing, Poppy Z. Brite has penned what I believe is the most amazing and startlingly frightening love story of this decade. Exquisite Corpse is not a book that would even hope to score on the Blind Monkey’s Mom-o-Meter; hell, it blew the meter all to pieces. But, for those of you with more enigmatic imaginations, Exquisite Corpse will not disappoint.

Hardcover – 240 pages Reprint edition (August 1996) Scribner; ISBN: 0684836270 ; Dimensions (in inches): 0.61 x 8.04 x 5.26

Reviewed By: The Goose

First things first. Ender’s Game IS the best body of work Card has ever done. There are those out there that will argue one or the other of the sequels (Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, and Children of the Mind) are better. PAH! They’re good, but not THAT good. The Goose will waste no time taunting them. All I will say is that they are WRONG!

***It doesn’t make BM’s top ten list by being okay, you know***

If you want to read a book that explores the cultural, and psychological impact of War on people forget about psychology and political science, this is the book for you. Imagine that your smarter than smart, smarter even than The Goose. What if your whole life you were programmed with the horrors that an alien force inflicted on the Human Race? (The Buggers (please set aside ANY British connotations) have attacked Earth twice. Twice Humanity was very, very lucky.)

Ender Wiggin is many things to many people, up to and including himself. Foremost, however, he is a child. That is something you should never forget as you read this book and increasingly identify with him. Born Andrew he adopted the name ‘Ender’ because his sister, Valentine, could not pronounce Andrew.

…At this point I must digress. Blind Monkey gets first crack at all my prose and the Monkey was definitely UNHAPPY with the original draft. BM said that the best thing about the book is that the end is a total surprise and that I was giving too much away. So, I hacked the review in half and started again. Hopefully, the review is still intriguing enough to spark your interest. I should say that I blindly trust BM’s judgement so if you have a problem take it to the Monkey…

This story is steeped in psychological drama. There is very little action, most of which takes place ‘off stage’ reminiscent of Shakespeare. What ‘onstage’ action there is pertains to the central plot. But it is the interactions between sentients and individual minds that drive this book. Blood and gore is not where it’s at.

The RELATIONSHIPS and CHARACTERS developed throughout the book are what drive it. They create the tension, the suspense, the overall EMOTION. This book is not for the weak-minded. It WILL make you question. It WILL take you to extremes. It WILL make you RE-EVALUATE. I won’t, CAN’T tell you what. It does not require or force a specific response. A specific answer. There is no RIGHT or WRONG only questions that we will find our OWN answers for in our OWN way.

It will surprise, it might enrage, or terrify. It will make you THINK. Which is why it is on BM’s Top Ten list… which I totally agree with and I’ve read a lot more than he has…

(PAH – says the Monkey! You wish. You’re just a lowly Goose.)

Mass Market Paperback Reissue edition (April 1984) Ace Books; ISBN: 0441172717 ; Dimensions (in inches): 0.98 x 6.88 x 4.19

Reviewed by: The Blind Monkey

In light of the recent hooplah regarding the movie “A Simple Plan,” I decided to revisit the book for an indepth look at why this story is so lame (Whoops — kinda let the cat out of the bag there, didn’t I?).

Okay, A Simple Plan was written by Scott Smith. An all-American boy with a boring name and an even sleepier style of writing. Let’s begin with that – the style. For anyone who’s read The Good Brother by Chris Offutt (And I know there’s some of you freaks out there), the Plan will sound familiar from chapter one. In fact, when I began reading this book I had to constantly keep looking at the jacket to assure myself that Offutt hadn’t written it. I found the setting, tone, and descriptive phrasing so similar that I almost couldn’t stand it.

But at least Offutt’s tale developed a unique and semi-interesting plot with idenitifiable and compelling characters. Unfortunately, these are two characteristics of good storytelling that A Simple Plan is never quite able to define.

Let’s continue with the plot. Two brothers and a friend find $4 million in the cockpit of a downed plane in the snow, and you can guess what happens. They must decide to keep it or give it back, and eventually decide to keep it. And that’s where the plan comes in, all they have to do is wait. This “I found a gazillion dollars, what do I do now?” story is so overdone, how can there be any doubt that you know what will happen? Someone will get greedy, someone’s conscience will get the better of them, someone will get suspicious, and things will spiral out of control. Yeah, yeah, quite a story.

Well – it’s not horrible. I didn’t give it the ‘green banana’ or anything. Many of you might find even the quaint rural setting and protagonist’s “good ‘ol boy” mentality semi-charming. But something about these characters and the completely obvious plot turns just rubbed my fur the wrong way. You’d better REALLY be hurting for entertainment before you pass up all the other fabulous stories in the world just to join all the mindless twits that made this tale a New York Times best-seller.

But in case you enjoyed it, I should comment that sometimes it’s okay to be a mindless twit. You were smart enough to visit this site, so I guess I like you anyway.

Mass Market Paperback Reprint edition (August 1994) St Martins Mass Market Paper; ISBN: 0312952716 ; Dimensions (in inches): 0.97 x 6.76 x 4.22

Reviewed by: The Blind Monkey

Many of you already know Jonathan Kellerman as the distinguished child-psychologist and Edgar-Award winning author of the Alex Delaware novels, but with his latest project, Billy Straight, Kellerman tries his hand at a more traditional detective thriller. Featuring new characters Detective Petra Connor and 12-year-old runnaway William Straight, Kellerman puts his psych background to more subtle use.



In Billy Straight, Kellerman puts his knowledge of how children develop in the face of adversity to good use without the aid of a handy child psychologist. After witnessing a brutal murder, our hero is on the run from every money-grubbing would-be investigator out for the $25,000 reward offered by the rich victim’s parents. He’s a runaway whose sharp mind and moral integrity enable him to survive the lurid urban jungle of West Hollywood.

In search of the alleged killers is Detective Petra Connor. A talented and beautiful artist-turned-police detective looking for meaning and direction in life.

This OJ-like case is a real page-turner, following famous suspects and twisted side-kicks into the bowels of the serial killer psyche. But if you’ve recently read Connelly’s Angel’s Flight, I’d take a break from the celebrity murder case and read it in a few months. Connelly does it better, and it will detract from your enjoyment of a good story.

I made this mistake, and although this book greatly surpasses the quality of Kellerman’s last two works (Survival of the Fittest and The Web), I had difficulty mustering the motivation to complete this review. But keep in mind, I have read the entire body of Kellerman’s work — and after Time Bomb and The Butcher’s Theater, he’s had an awful lot to live up to.

Hardcover – 467 pages (Jan 1999) Random House; ISBN: 0679459596 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.38 x 9.49 x 6.57

Reviewed by: The Goose

How often does Oral History make it on to a Top-Ten Book list? Under normal circumstances probably not very often. Then again, nothing can be called ‘normal’ about Homer’s Odyssey.

It is ARCHETYPAL.

That means it is the first of its type. Just about everything that was written after it copies themes, devices, constructs, et cetera from Homer. By way of example nothing really new has been published in Fantasy since Tolkein published his Lord of the Rings and even that is based primarily on the Arthurian Cycle. Similarly, the construction of fiction whether it is Epic or Novel relies heavily on Homer.

The Odyssey is a written collection of oral stories about a man, Odysseus. Now, Classicists will argue about the authenticity of The Odyssey compared toThe Iliad because it lacks a continuous ‘High Style’.

Bully for them I say! Of course the style is not continuous. It is a collection of stories, not a single story like Iliad. The style is that of those who related the stories, the average Greek Joe. So the stories will sound slightly different in tone from each other depending on who the storyteller was.

“So why, Goose, is this original?” you might ask. Well, in Europe at least, this had never been done. You must remember that The Odyssey was written at least 2900 years ago. It was doing things that wouldn’t be done again for a long, long time. That alone makes it original.

I was about to give you a semi-detailed outline of the plot, but decided against it. These reviews are meant to tease you all into reading and discovering the book for yourselves. Now if I told you all about it, what fun would you have reading it?

Let’s just say that Odyssey has EVERYTHING. Wrath of Gods, War, Revenge, Lost Love, Young Lust, Intrigue, Homecoming and in the end somebody gets WHACKED.

**I think that when BM was describing what it takes to get on the Top Ten List he had The Odyssey in mind.**

Keep in mind that there are myriad translations of The Odyssey out there. Not just any will do it justice. For those who are intrepid enough, find a strict translation of the original work. The language will be a little sticky at first but is more full of meaning than ‘looser’ translations. A few years ago BM gave me a priceless gift. It is a translation done by T.E. Shaw. The name’s not familiar? I’m not surprised, he is better known as T.E. Lawrence, or “Lawrence of Arabia.” It is an excellent translation and a good read. It is a ‘strict’ translation in all ways but one: it is a prose translation. Rather than sticking dogmatically to the iambic hexameter, Lawrence let it flow out in paragraph form. The ironic part is that the beat, the cadence, is still there but it reads a little smoother. If you find a reprint of this translation I highly recommend it. Don’t think of finding an original, it was printed in the Thirties and is now rare. Only BM knows how expensive it is. Fitzgerald has a respectable translation and is the one you are most likely to find at your average bookstore.

Hardcover – 327 pages Oxford Univ Press; ISBN: 0195068181; Dimensions (in inches): 1.24 x 9.51 x 6.44

Reviewed by: The Blind Monkey

Completely forgettable, yet satisfying, William J. Coughlin’s The Judgement follows Motor-city Defense attorney Charley Sloan through a spiraling web of political corruption, human fraility, and spiritual turmoil. Sloan has all the makings of an endearing, flawed, protagonist as a thrice-married recovering alcoholic trying to rebuild his life after his fall from the grace of Detroit’s finest up-and-comers. This tale takes him from a political scandal that threatens (with no small bit of subtlety) to take down the Mayor of Detroit, to a horrifying string of serial murders afflicted on the innocent children of Hub City, Michigan. As these tales unfold, you will look forward to the suspense and facination that the horrors inflicted by humans usually invoke. But the introduction of too many underdeveloped characters (good guys) and the all too obvious clues (bad guys) takes away from a good story and concept.

In this second posthumous thriller (Heart Of Justice, 1995), former Detroit defense lawyer and judge William J. Coughlin serves up an intriguing and meandering plot that you will often want to put down. The vivid imagery and realistic character relationships, however, will keep you reading until somehow you are building to a fizziling climax that you saw coming from clue #1.

Book Description
In a rural area outside of Detroit bodies are being found in the snow. One after another. Neatly washed, wrapped in plastic, methodically laid out like sleeping angels. And very, very young.

Forty miles away and at the other end of the world an honest cop, the deputy chief of police, has been framed for a corruption charge: In a world of big-city politics, he wants ace lawyer Charley Sloan to get him off.

Pulled into the two very different cases, Charley faces the heat of a perplexing serial murder investigation and the heavy hitters of the Motor City’s inner circle. Interviewing witnesses, putting together clues, Charley Sloan, a man who has been at the bottom and at the top, is about to uncover the explosive difference between true innocence–and the most dangerous guilt of all…

Mass Market Paperback – 432 pages (January 1997) St Martins Pr (Trade); ISBN: 0312962444 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.19 x 6.82 x 4.21

Reviewed by: Slappy

I know that most of you who saw this novel on Amazon.com almost immediately shrugged it off as just another sequel to The Wizard of Oz. You could not be further removed from the truth. We all have seen the movie countless times, and some of us in our lives have managed to wade through Baum’s children’s book (yeah, right) in which Dorothy wreaks havoc on the sister witches of East and West Oz. However, until you read Wicked, you have not experienced the full spectrum of the darkness and all too human acting citizens of Oz.

In The Wizard of Oz, we heard the story of Dorothy Gale (funny, her name was Gale and she was carried away by a twister … Baum was nothing if not imaginative), what happened to her (and her little dog, too) in Oz and how she handled the Wicked Witch of the West and what her impressions of said witch were. In Wicked, we hear the story of Elphaba, the true name of the Wicked Witch of the West, who was born to a minister and his comely wife from Rush Margins, a territory of Oz. Despite the ailment of being born with a skin condition which rendered her a greenish glow and posessing naturally sharp, pointed teeth, Elphaba was nothing more or nothing less than anyone else born in those days in Oz. Gnawed by a desire for truth and knowledge, she patiently waits until she can attend the University in Shiz (she eventually meets Galinda, a student of sorcery who later shortened her name to Glinda and became Witch of the North) where she attempts to blend into Shizonian society despite her appearance. However, shunned by her freakish nature and misunderstood by most citizens, Elphaba gladly accepts the role of witch that the world has given her. Led by despair and loneliness, Elphaba becomes more disenchanted with each passing year, until the fateful day her sister (Nessarose, by name) is killed by a strange house which fell from the sky. Which is where most of us remember the story, if only from Dorothy’s viewpoint.

Gregory Maguire, a children’s novelist, has taken license with Baum’s Oz and crafted a unique and intelligently written fable for adults. I strongly recommend this book as required reading to all who thought that witches are all greenfaced wicked individuals. Sometimes, the wicked people are in fact the most compassionate of all.

Hardcover 1 Ed edition (January 1999) Little Brown Company; ISBN: 0316152196; Dimensions (in inches): 1.40 x 9.49 x 6.45

Reviewed by: The Ramblin’ Guy

Drivel. drivel. drivel. d-r-i-v-e-l. I am about to write drivel about Drivel. “Pure Drivel.” Now firstly let me clarify what drivel exactly is or isn’t. Drivel is not the stain on Monica’s dress. Got that? Okay good – I am sick of hearing about it (although I do wonder if the fact that she kept the dress from such an incident implies that she actually may never have brushed her teeth again?). Drivel is not what a basketball player with a lisp does. Nor is drivel one of those cute, pseudo-French terms used to describe a tiny driveway-like cul-de-sac (which literally means “end of sack” or “testicles”).

Drivel is usually a term used to describe what I write-sort of a random, mindless babble of incoherent thought. Usually this implies that you might not want to read it. Usually this implies that I suck (from the Latin, “suckerooni”) However, when I approached Steve Martin’s recent “Pure Drivel”, I was quite stunned to find that the title was meant in irony. Irony is one of those literary devices used to suggest that something is no longer wrinkly. Steve-and I can call him Steve because, well, it’s his first name and it would be so stupid to call him Bob or Claire-sets forth to bring to the writing of drivel an intensely wise and tongue-in-cheek (again-from the French, meaning “cul-de-sac”) series of short essays that cover topics from yelling “Savages!” in a Native American owned casino to kittens living on Mars to the Times New Roman font warning us of an impending shortage of periods.

That piece alone, free in itself from the use of periods, lends a purely creative style of writing not found in lesser tomes of drivel (and by golly someday I mean to set about and compile my own tome of drivel) or even many great works of modern literature (and by golly I mean to set about to create a great work of modern litera-uh, no, sorry, I actually don’t). The writing’s overall (and yes, that was a period at the end of the last sentence-I am not ironic, and drivel merely for the sake of incoherence) appeal should hearken back to the days of the “Wild and Crazy Guy”, but many avid followers of Steve’s (Bob’s, Claire’s) career will note the ebbs and flows of later incarnations such as “Picasso at the Lapin Agile” (a story where Picasso goes to the Lapin Agile).

This book had such a profound effect on me, I think, being such an amateur driveler, that I would write a letter to Steve (Bob, Claire) that would ask for guidance and it would go something like this:

Of course now I am assuming that such a thing exists as “to drivel” – and that is the processes of “verbing” a noun and that probably is grammatically incorrect. However I think it is okay, in this day and age to take a bit of creative license to create an art form out of the Big Steve’s (Big Bob’s, Big Claire’s) drivel and call it Driveling-with a capital “D.”

Now there you have it. A nifty review of my Good Buddy Steve’s (Good Buddy Bob’s, Good Buddy Claire’s) book and the definition of Drivel/Driveling. You should never again confuse it with other words.. like.. like.. um – “Driving”! Yeah, don’t confuse it with Driving-otherwise the movie would become “Driveling Miss Daisy”-and that sounds like a porn film. Uh oh, I appear to have reached a “cul de sac”.

Hardcover – 128 pages 1 edition (September 16, 1998) Hyperion Press; ISBN: 0786864672; Dimensions (in inches): 0.61 x 8.64 x 5.85