I was prepared, but must admit that this story is brutal - even for Cornwell. Haunted by images of a beautiful and famous tennis phenom who is cruelly tortured and mutilated in Rome, Kay strives to find the killer before he stikes again. And fails. The imagery is so moody, dark and powerful that I was surprised everytime I stepped away to look around and see the bright California sunshine.

There are at least two wonderfully sensitive and joyful moments, two more than you will generally find in a Cornwell novel. But “Book of the Dead” is not for the squeamish or faint-of-heart - in fact, I already warned Mom that under no circumstances is she allowed to read it. But if you’re looking for a mystery with the heart of a savage psychological thriller - pick up the “Book.”

I give this one 4 1/2 bananas, with points taken off only because the reveal comes a little early.

A lot has happened since 1999 - “The Lord of the Rings” has become a classic trilogy of film as well as in print, I can’t steal from my Grandfather’s book collection anymore (but THANKS Grandpa for the Hillermans!), and I married The Goose (many years later). In the coming months the Monkies will be bringing fresh new reviews, so we hope you like the start and come back often for more.

Now some of the Monkies say that means that I’m not objective — to which I say, “HEY! *I* am in charge here! And if *I* think the writer of the ‘Rockford Files’ and ‘The A Team’ is as cool as it gets, then he is!!” WUHUHAHAHAHAHA!!! (evil monkey laugh)

But then, that is the beauty of having your own personal Web playground. *I* am always right!

In all seriousness, however, I love Cannell’s books because he has a unique creative flair that he applies to an ever-widening variety of subjects. He’s clever, he’s biting, and his stories are a hurtling and bumpy wooden rollercoaster ride plunging you to the earth so fast you’re sure you’re gonna fly out of the car! It’s ‘easy reading’ without the ‘easy’. You’re just so wrapped up from page ONE that you don’t want to put it down until you get to the end. Just in case you need me to jog your memory, think of such creative thrillers as The Plan, Final Verdict, King Con, and Riding the Snake.

The Devil’s Workshop is no different. Beautiful and fiesty microbiologist Stacy Richardson is finishing her doctorate in bio-chemistry when she learns that her new husband has just committed suicide. Unable to believe that the solid and practical USC scientist she married is capable of suicide, she travels to Ft. Detrick, Maryland where he was working on a top secret bio-weapons program known as the ‘Devil’s Workshop’. Stacy meets Adminral Zoll, the government official in charge of the program, and quickly discovers that the government’s story is a lie. She vows to find the truth.

Meanwhile, hobos Lucky Cunningham and Hollywood Mike are passing through Vanishing Lake, Texas, looking to scrape up enough for a bottle when, unbeknownst to them, Admiral Zoll is illegally testing new secret bio-weapons known as ‘Prions’.

Okay - you get the idea - something will go wrong, and we’ve got an outbreak of global proportions. Think ‘Outbreak’ with more colorful characters and settings, and you’re pretty much there. This isn’t a book that’s gonna change the world, but it’s fun, it’s fast, you’ll love the characters, and enjoy the ride.

Trust the Monkey. =)

Hardcover - 416 pages 1 Ed edition (September 1999) William Morrow & Company; ISBN: 0688166180 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.31 x 9.68 x 6.41

You can do it with the help of Doug Richmond’s How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found. I think he used to work for the Queen’s Secret Service (like 006+1 or something). Just Kidding! Seriously, if you’ve ever been hunted by the FBI or chased by stick-wielding rednecks whose sister you recently defiled (not that I would know about this one, mind you), this little attempt at misguided self help might come in handy.

Richmond tells us that a person need only change a few small details about themselves to completely mask their former persona. Weight loss, gait, facial hair (mostly for men Ö women should NEVER sport a goatee, sideburns or a moustache), hair color and clothing styles are the easiest and most effective ways to disguise oneself. Ok, so it isn’t that easy to change your gait (for those of you who are not nearly as mentally agile as I, gait means the way you walk), or so you think Ö imagine inserting a tack in the heel of your shoe and trying to walk normally with the constant little jabbing stick of the pointy end in the bottom of your foot. You WILL walk differently. Trust me. In my quest for excellence I researched this little tack-tic (get the word play?) and found that just the tip of the tack is enough to make people believe you are gimped up and, with the addition of a change of hair, growing a goatee and wearing three piece suits (of which Slappy owns NONE), no one will recognize you.

Well, other than your mother Ö they always know. But then again, this book is not intended for mothers; husbands who need to escape their controlling wives and criminals who need to escape the incredibly long arm of the law will get quite a bit of use from How To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found.

And of course, if you just want to fantasize of how you can gain another life, in another place, with other people, it offers a departure from the dismal and sedulous existence you have come to despise.

Smile, all Ö it isn’t that bad.

Paperback Carol Pub. edition (September 1994) Citadel Pr; ISBN: 0806515597; Dimensions (in inches): 0.33 x 8.23 x 5.39

I didn’t want to read it. Refused to buy it. But, that cantankerous old monkey pulled a fast one and shipped me his copy. He knew I would then read it, that I wouldn’t be able to resist. For once in his benighted life he was right. Sneaky old trickster!

I have many reasons for not wanting to read this particular novel. First, I was seriously disgruntled with Card after I read that transcript on sff.com. Secondly, the early reports I had about Ender’s Shadow filled me with misgivings. Score one for intuition!

Right now, let me warn those of you monkies out there, whom-against our better advice-have not yet read Ender’s Game: DO NOT READ THIS ONE FIRST! It will ruin Ender’s Game for you on several levels.

Despite my misgivings about Card, he is still one of the most talented writers around today. So, I quickly fell into the story, which begins, innocuously enough, in the streets of Rotterdam where Bean is a very little urchin living on the streets.

However, he quickly organizes all the street kids of Rotterdam into a semblance of civilization (as Card puts it) and thus comes to the attention of the International Fleet (I.F.). So, of course, Bean is rushed off to Battle School.

This is where Card starts to fall off of his rocker, both scientifically and story-wise.

Generally speaking, Card has always grounded his theories in some sort of scientific fact. But, let me just say this: intelligence, and especially great intelligence, requires longer gestational and juvenile periods of development. This is a biological truth. It is never the other way around. And story-wise, it’s not that he deviates from the original plot, but more that he ruins or distorts some of the central assumptions and facts of that plot.

So, other than shattering the core of Ender’s Game and stepping off the scientific deep-end, this is a good story and an excellent tale of the life of Bean. If you have read E.G., you may be offended by some of the things Card has done here, but you will agree that it is still a good story.

P.S. Look up Deus ex Machinain your dictionary before you read this - see if you can pick out what Card has disguised his as!

Hardcover - 384 pages 1 Ed edition (August 31, 1999) Tor Books; ISBN: 031286860X ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.28 x 9.55 x 6.45

Let me start off by saying that I wrote another draft of this review and after talking with Blind Monkey about it I tossed it in the proverbial circular file. It was choppy and didn’t create any interest in the book. Bad monkey! So I am starting over. And before he can cry foul, let me say that Blind Monkey suggested that I discuss the ‘original monster board’.

So that said, let’s talk about this creepy book. It’s full of mystery and horror. Both genres which I have little experience with. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I’m pretty much Sci-Fi and Fantasy kind of monkey. Stepping out of those genres is difficult at best for me. On the other hand, this story is absolutely fantastic. I think I read it over the course of two days whenever I had a free moment or two I was reading this thing. If I had had the time I wouldn’t have stopped reading until I was done!

Whew! I hope that’s a resounding endorsement.

The premise here is that three friends, a journalist, a recently appointed Police Commissioner, and an Alienist are trying to solve a series of murders in turn of the century New York. One of those three is a young Teddy Roosevelt.

Now Teddy is on top of things and sets up what amounts to a secret cabal to solve these murders. The leader of which is Dr. Lazlo Kreizler - an Alienist. John Moore is the journalist and is included in the investigation more or less by association, the two having gone to Yale together. Rather ironically, Moore had recently returned from England where he had been reporting on ‘The Ripper’ murders.

The ‘monster board’ is a huge blackboard set up by Kreizler to track the murders using what is known, unknown, and the assumptions the team is making. It becomes a fine example of a ‘living document’ that changes as the team learns new things or must discard old assumptions. This is what the master Monkey meant by ‘The Original Monster Board’. A tool which is used by brain-storming teams everywhere and as a concept has found its way onto the internet.

Tracking a serial killer in the city of goth would be hard enough as it is. People disappear, die, and are murdered with frightening frequency. Usually with no rhyme or reason! But, because Roosevelt is the newly appointed chief of police and has been charged with cleaning up NYPD and the streets, he can hardly afford a misstep. If he is somehow embarrassed on this case, all the bad cops and underworld bosses will be on him like white on rice! And they’re not the only problem — the city’s elite don’t want the investigation continued either. Out of site, out of mind. Who cares if some little boys get killed? They were just scum working the streets for money, right?

This story has more weird turns than an Escher drawing. All of which are against a seething backdrop of political and social turmoil which threatens to swallow it before the case is solved. Throw in some bizarre Native American warpath rituals and our stage is set for a very gruesome but interesting story.

The characters are rich and fully developed-if a little dark. Teddy is the only really bright character. Then again, how else could you paint him? The feeling of macabre is like an itch between your shoulder blades, it’s there, you can’t reach it and it seems to grow worse with every passing minute. This story is like that it just builds, and builds, and builds until finally…

Oh! And what about the title? What is an Alienist? Well let me answer that indirectly with a quotation from the very beginning of the book:

Prior to the twentieth century, persons suffering from mental illness were thought to be “alienated,” not only from the rest of society but from their own true natures. Those experts who studied mental pathologies were therefore known as alienists.

Absolutely fascinating, and definitely worthy of its place on Blind Monkey’s Top Ten List!

Hardcover - 496 pages 1 Ed edition (April 1994) Random House; ISBN: 0679417796 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.54 x 9.53 x 6.65

I PROMISE YOU WILL GET HOOKED AND NOT BE ABLE TO PUT ANY OF THESE DOWN

There is one of two things this book will do. This book will scare the Hell out of you or scare you out of Hell. As a fictional account about the Book of Revelations (Holy Bible), whether you are a believer in the bible or not, this will make you think of the possibilities. This book wastes no time in getting straight to the point. The story starts at the Rapture of the Church, which Christians believe that Jesus Christ comes and take believers right out of thin air. Millions of people disappear and those left want to know why.

Left Behind leaves no pages unturned as the book follows the exact chronological order as Revelations is written in the Bible. The story starts out as Rayford Steele (an Airline Pilot) has half of the passengers on his plane disappear. There is mass destruction and confusion around the world. Rayford’s wife and son have disappeared and he is grieving their loss. They were both active members of their Church and Rayford suspects that God has come and taken them. He doesn’t know for sure until he speaks to the local preacher at their church. The story picks up from there. If you have ever read Revelations you know how it goes. If you haven’t read Revelations - you will be in for the ride of your life.

The only problem with this book is that there is no ‘end’ at the end of the book. The good news is that there are five other books that carry on the story from one to the other. Bad news is - that once you start reading it, you will not be able to put it down. I have read five of the six books, and it’s only taken me two days to read each one. Be prepared to do a lot of reading!!

Book One - Left Behind
Book Two - Tribulation Force
Book Three - Nicolae
Book Four - Soul Harvest
Book Five - Apollyon
Book Six - Assassins

Paperback - 468 pages (April 1996) Tyndale House Pub; ISBN: 0842329129 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.27 x 8.19 x 5.45

There is a lot of hubbub in the Fantasy and Sci-Fi world right now. Over what, you ask? Well, mostly film. There is a film adaptation of Ender’s Game in the works; and the Sci-Fi Channel is planning a miniseries adaptation of Dune (You would have thought that the original cinematic version of Dune would have taught these people something, but we are NOT going there right now). Finally, there is a live-action version of Fellowship of the Ring in production.

As you know, many years ago there was a very successful cartoon adaptation of The Hobbit, and I hear that the other books in The Lord of the Rings were also adapted in the same format. But live action? COME ON. Especially considering that Elijah Wood is playing the lead: a fifty-something Frodo Baggins.

Strangely enough, this has been quite the topic of conversation between my boss and myself. Mostly we have been discussing the various casting decisions, but we have also been tripping back into our memories of Tolkein and his world. Being that it has been well over ten years since the first time I picked up a Tolkein book, my memory was a little rusty. What I did remember was that I found Tolkein just a bit long-winded and was impatient throughout most of the three books.

So, I decided that it is time to revisit the world of elves, dwarves, orcs, magicians, humans, and, Hobbits. I dusted off my Dad’s copy of Fellowship of the Ring and started reading again-on breaks and lunches. The first thing I noticed was that what I initially found tedious was actually wonderful description. Tolkein may take two or three pages to describe something that other authors describe in two or three paragraphs, but the detail and imagery ensure that you know the scene intimately and can smell the air in that place.

Soon after that I was caught up in the story and paid little attention to anything else. The story, as I have said, is of Frodo Baggins, the nephew and heir-designate of Bilbo Baggins whom fifty years earlier had gone on a quest that led him to Smaug the Dragon and a most peculiar ring. In this story, Gandalf returns and sets a quest for Frodo: to destroy the Ring before it can be used to create havoc in the world of Middle Earth.

And, no, I am not giving anything away. The plot is classic, not many twists and turns to it. Tolkein used the plot as a platform for amazing imagery and character development. NONE of his characters are flat. They are all incredibly rich.

Which brings me to my next realization. It is something that I have heard before, but didn’t have the patience to understand at the time. The Lord of the Rings is the foundation upon which most Fantasy, and especially Fantasy involving a quest is based. I kept finding myself thinking ‘that reminds me of..’ always referring to a newer work. Where the Odyssey is the blueprint for most modern fiction, Tolkein provided the same for modern fantasy. Don’t believe me? Read the LOTR trilogy and then read The Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks. In fact, re-reading Fellowship reminded me of something that Brooks said in his forward. He talks about looking for a publisher for Sword and when he does, it is the same publisher that published Tolkein, and he said, “Why would they want me when they already have Tolkein?”

At the time, I didn’t really understand what he meant. To me, they were vaguely similar but not really. Now I get it. Tolkein is ‘North’ for all Fantasy writers.

Tolkein created a wonderful world called middle earth and filled it with a rich landscape and deep characters. It is always a good read. But, if you have no time or no patience, you won’t really get it. For those who have the time, take it to read Fellowship of the Ring again. It is well worth it, and you will be surprised by how much of Tolkein applies to all the other Fantasy you love.

Mass Market Paperback - 479 pages Reissue edition (November 1989) Ballantine Books (Mm); ISBN: 0345339703; Dimensions (in inches): 1.07 x 6.85 x 4.22

“First things first. Ender’s Game IS the best body of work Card has ever done.”

That was the introduction of The Goose’s February review, and it still holds true. But before I fall into any lame comparisons, let me tell you what Ender’s Shadow is all about.

This companion novel - or ‘parrallax’ novel, as OSC calls it - takes a whole new perspective on the invasion of the buggers by telling the story of Bean, the youngest and smartest kid in military training. Although it covers the same time period, this tale is told through Bean’s eyes as he lives in the shadow of the famous Ender Wiggin, who must outsmart the adults and figure out how to defeat the Formics.

The idea is pure novelty, and I was anxious to discover if Card was forging new ground with a fresh new literary strategy — or if he was simply out of ideas and grasping for the brilliance exhibited in his early career. Either way, I figured it would be fun finding out.

PHASE I: Elation

So — when I began Ender’s Shadow, I was elated! After all, Game was one of the greatest books of all time, and I have really been looking forward to revisiting Battle School through someone else’s eyes. Now I’m not a serious sci-fi freak or anything, but I recognized the genius in the original, and could only hope that ES would follow in it’s footsteps.

In the first 131 pages, I was not disappointed. These chapters chronicle Bean’s early years as an urchin struggling to survive on the streets of Rotterdam. They give us an idea of what was going on in the rest of the world while Ender was being recruited and prodded by Colonel Graff (the original title was, in fact, Urchin, but it was modified for bankability). This part of the story is dark, cynical, and filled with tormented characters with rich, complex motivations and clever ploys for survival.

PHASE II: Annoyance

The middle third of ES chronicles Bean’s quest to outmanuver the adults at Battle School, and to get everything he can out of his experiences to serve his long term goals. There are two characteristics about this section that truly, truly got on my nerves.

First, Bean deftly deduces some of the key underlying themes revealed at the end of Ender’s Game on page 132. Card then spends the rest of the novel making Bean try to prove or disprove these deductions. This is unbelieveably annoying, as Bean is set up throughout this whole section to be so incredibly sharp that Ender’s intellect pales in comparison.

Yeah, whatever.

The second thing that really got to me is that this section reads like a self-help management rag. Bean’s weakness is his size, and he spends most of his time analyzing the leadership style of the teachers, other commanders, etc. Now what he learns is extraordinary, but it is too heavy handed and takes absolutely no imagination to apply in every day life - which made me feel like it was aimed at readers of somewhat lesser intelligence than your typical Blind Monkey. It’s still good - but grates a bit.

PHASE III: Scepticism

Finally, Bean gets interested in the international ramifications of what the end of the war with the formics may mean on earth. This is intriguing, as political and psychological influences have always been one of Card’s strengths. But even though he spends the entire book explaining it - I never quite believed that Bean could have figured this stuff on his own. And finally, there is the moment where Colonel Graff reveals something that - even though I haven’t read Ender’s Game in a while - I am damn sure he didn’t know to reveal. Because - if he did - Speaker for the Dead and Xenocide would have turned out differently.

Residual Effects

As with all life experiences, people can’t help but bring their own moods, opinions, and personal situations to bear in everything they do. And this simple fact was at the forefront of my mind while reading Ender’s Shadow . I know alot more than I did the day I tore through Card’s original and slowly closed it’s covers with tears brimming over my eyes.

Yes, this book is a novelty. It’s good - but only because Card had so much to work with that it couldn’t possibly have gone wrong. It starts out brilliant. But after the first hundred pages or so, it loses it’s luster.

Still, if I am to step back and measure it on my normal scale, it’s better than most.

Hardcover - 384 pages 1 Ed edition (August 31, 1999) Tor Books; ISBN: 031286860X ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.28 x 9.55 x 6.45

So, I finally got around to reading Fear Nothing (the prequel to Dean Koontz’s Seize the Night ). And ever since, I?ve been having this recurring dream. But I get ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning.

—————

I get to sleep and at some point the scene begins to play out. It?s nighttime ? it?s always at night — and I?m at a house. We’re crouched in the yard and on the roof, keeping a lookout: Slappy, the Goose, and me. I am in the backyard preparing with Slappy, because we know they are coming.

We are as prepared as possible, but we never know they are coming until we hear the explosions.

Far away they start, but we know what they mean. It sets off a strange hissing sound that comes out of the ground around us in the backyard. We know from the last time that there will be less than a few seconds now until the sprinklers pop up about 10 inches above the ground shooting a strange reddish brown ooze in a slick parallel line with the ground. If you get hit with this stuff, it?s all over. It will burn the skin right from your body. I’ve seen it happen.

I press my body as tightly down into the soft green earth, relieved that thesickly mixture has shot in another direction. But even as a watch it I know not to let my guard down. The worst is yet to come. And this is good, because as soon as the last of it burns into the grass, the rusty cannons move on to their next weapon.

Small reflective plates fold out mechanically like a tiny reflecting satellite dish and reposition in response to the detection of motion. And then, in the most brilliant display of flight, small seekers come spiraling towards the slightest movement. I feel the first one brush past my body, following a lightning-quick path up my legs past my back and ever so slightly blowing my hair as I hug the earth.Shhhhhhup.

It?s by. I flip to my back? another?s coming. Shhhhhhuup. And another goes by. This time it passes so close over my face that the reflection off its shiny metal surface blinds me for just a moment. I know I have to disable it somehow or I won?tget back inside before the soldiers come.

With the next shot I am given an paralyzing opportunity.The dish positions 90 degrees away and seeks out Slappy, who has panicked and tried to run. It finds him in an instant and blows him to bits (sorry, Slap). I move just fast enough to get behind the dish as it begins to turn back to me. When it shoots again, I catch the tiny seeker and point it back where it came in one fluid motion as I hurl myself in the opposite direction. With quick, devastating explosion, it has engulfed itself, taking with it my shoe, and I am safe.

But not for long, and I rush back inside to join the Goose.

We know the soldiers are coming now and quickly choose our weapons and prepare to hide. Big dumb apes they are. Not human, but some hybrid horror of evolution, combining man andsimian beast.They are carrying weapons that shoot those same shiny cylinders.But these are not seekers. Simply projectiles that follow the direction of the sender like a long deadly bullet.

We are hiding.If they think that no one is in the house they will move on to the next, destroying everything in their path.Goose and Ihide in the lower level of a long closet of shelves that connects two rooms. He covers hisbody with pillows and I cower towards his feet and cover myself with an old comforter. They?ve entered the house now andwe see and hear huge furry legs and paw-like feet plodding about the room searching for us. Suddenly there is a loud crack of something crashing to the ground.

And I am awake. Trying to figure out where I am.

But that?s when I realize that the crack was not part of the dream.

It came from within the house.

—————

Fear Nothing gets FIVE BANANAS for creativity and an ability to kick my imagination into overdrive. But it’s pretty annoying if you’ve already read Seize the Night, and the plot is a little goofy. And besides - I didn’t even tell you anything about it! =)

But trust me it’s a fun read, has lots of monkeys (hence the evil soldiers in my dream), and ends up at a good solid THREE and a HALF BANANAS.

Hardcover- 391 pages (February 1998) Bantam Books; ISBN: 0553106643 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.30 x 9.56 x 6.46