Entries from October 1999 ↓

YES, I will buy basically anything Stephen Cannell writes. And YES, I can almost guarantee that I’m going to like it.

Now some of the Monkies say that means that I’m not objective — to which I say, “HEY! *I* am in charge here! And if *I* think the writer of the ‘Rockford Files’ and ‘The A Team’ is as cool as it gets, then he is!!” WUHUHAHAHAHAHA!!! (evil monkey laugh)

But then, that is the beauty of having your own personal Web playground. *I* am always right!

In all seriousness, however, I love Cannell’s books because he has a unique creative flair that he applies to an ever-widening variety of subjects. He’s clever, he’s biting, and his stories are a hurtling and bumpy wooden rollercoaster ride plunging you to the earth so fast you’re sure you’re gonna fly out of the car! It’s ‘easy reading’ without the ‘easy’. You’re just so wrapped up from page ONE that you don’t want to put it down until you get to the end. Just in case you need me to jog your memory, think of such creative thrillers as The Plan, Final Verdict, King Con, and Riding the Snake.

The Devil’s Workshop is no different. Beautiful and fiesty microbiologist Stacy Richardson is finishing her doctorate in bio-chemistry when she learns that her new husband has just committed suicide. Unable to believe that the solid and practical USC scientist she married is capable of suicide, she travels to Ft. Detrick, Maryland where he was working on a top secret bio-weapons program known as the ‘Devil’s Workshop’. Stacy meets Adminral Zoll, the government official in charge of the program, and quickly discovers that the government’s story is a lie. She vows to find the truth.

Meanwhile, hobos Lucky Cunningham and Hollywood Mike are passing through Vanishing Lake, Texas, looking to scrape up enough for a bottle when, unbeknownst to them, Admiral Zoll is illegally testing new secret bio-weapons known as ‘Prions’.

Okay – you get the idea – something will go wrong, and we’ve got an outbreak of global proportions. Think ‘Outbreak’ with more colorful characters and settings, and you’re pretty much there. This isn’t a book that’s gonna change the world, but it’s fun, it’s fast, you’ll love the characters, and enjoy the ride.

Trust the Monkey. =)

Hardcover – 416 pages 1 Ed edition (September 1999) William Morrow & Company; ISBN: 0688166180 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.31 x 9.68 x 6.41

Ever wanted to just go away? Leave your current life and move to another city and begin all over?

You can do it with the help of Doug Richmond’s How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found. I think he used to work for the Queen’s Secret Service (like 006+1 or something). Just Kidding! Seriously, if you’ve ever been hunted by the FBI or chased by stick-wielding rednecks whose sister you recently defiled (not that I would know about this one, mind you), this little attempt at misguided self help might come in handy.

Richmond tells us that a person need only change a few small details about themselves to completely mask their former persona. Weight loss, gait, facial hair (mostly for men Ö women should NEVER sport a goatee, sideburns or a moustache), hair color and clothing styles are the easiest and most effective ways to disguise oneself. Ok, so it isn’t that easy to change your gait (for those of you who are not nearly as mentally agile as I, gait means the way you walk), or so you think Ö imagine inserting a tack in the heel of your shoe and trying to walk normally with the constant little jabbing stick of the pointy end in the bottom of your foot. You WILL walk differently. Trust me. In my quest for excellence I researched this little tack-tic (get the word play?) and found that just the tip of the tack is enough to make people believe you are gimped up and, with the addition of a change of hair, growing a goatee and wearing three piece suits (of which Slappy owns NONE), no one will recognize you.

Well, other than your mother Ö they always know. But then again, this book is not intended for mothers; husbands who need to escape their controlling wives and criminals who need to escape the incredibly long arm of the law will get quite a bit of use from How To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found.

And of course, if you just want to fantasize of how you can gain another life, in another place, with other people, it offers a departure from the dismal and sedulous existence you have come to despise.

Smile, all Ö it isn’t that bad.

Paperback Carol Pub. edition (September 1994) Citadel Pr; ISBN: 0806515597; Dimensions (in inches): 0.33 x 8.23 x 5.39